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Beyond Violence


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Table of Contents

Orientation Session 1 Introduction to the Program 1 Overview of the Program 2 Your Workbook 2 Group Introductions 3 Topics Covered in This Program 4 Group Agreements 5 Triggers and Coping Tools 6 Five Senses 7 Breathing and Exhaling 7 Statistics on Violence in the United States 8 Definition of Violence 10 The Social?Ecological Model (People in the Environment) 11 Creating a Container 14 Discovering Your Anger Style 16 Anger Survey 19 Assignment 20 Self-Soothing Activity: Palms Down, Palms Up 21 Part A: Self Session One: Thinking Our Thoughts 25 The Spirals of Violence and Nonviolence 26 Cognitive Distortion 27 My Typical Distorted Thinking 29 Feelings Inside and Outside 31 The DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 32 Understanding Keila 32 Understanding Me 34 Assignment 36 Session Two: Feeling Our Feelings 39 Identifying Feelings 40 Beliefs About Feelings 43 Intensity of Feelings 44 Emotional Wellness 48 Feelings and the Body 49 When Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You 50 The Observer Self 51 Assignment 52 Session Three: Violence and Trauma in Our Lives 53 Types of Abuse 54 The Process of Trauma 54 Calming Strategies 58 Two Calming Activities 59 Mindful Breathing 59 Ten-Point Body Scan 59 Assignment 60 Session Four: The Effects of Trauma 63 Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey 64 The Effects of Trauma and Substance Use on the Brain 68 Risk Factors for Addiction 69 Personal Experiences with Substances 70 Triggers and the Body 71 Yoga Poses and the Mind?Body Connection 74 Assignment 75 Session Five: Women and Anger 77 Words for Anger 78 Meeting a Feeling 79 The Anger Funnel 80 Anger Triggers 82 Anger Management Strategies 83 Anger Dos and Don?ts 85 Hidden Anger 87 Self-Inflicted Violence 88 Assignment 89 Session Six: Understanding Ourselves 91 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 92 Understanding Keila 92 Understanding Me 94 Understanding My Behavior 96 Understanding Keila 96 Understanding Me 97 Becoming Whole 98 Assignment 100 Part B: Relationships Session Seven: Our Families 103 Self-Soothing Activity: Deep Breathing 104 Risk Factors 105 Family Sculpture 106 The Cost of Violence 107 Feelings and the Family 108 The Anger Questionnaire 109 Wheel of the Nurturing Family 112 Assignment 115 Session Eight: Communication 117 Communication Styles 118 Nonverbal Communication 119 Communicating Emotions 120 Strategies for Creating Connection Through Communication 121 Responses to Stress 122 Assignment 124 Session Nine: Power and Control 125 The Power and Control Wheel 126 Types of Abuse in Relationships 130 The Violence Continuum 132 Escalation and De-escalation 134 Violence in Prison 136 Using the Time 137 Assignment 138 Session Ten: Conflict Resolution 141 Fair Fighting 142 Words, Words, Words 143 Impulse Control 144 The Equality Wheel 147 Assignment 150 Session Eleven: Creating Our Relationships 151 Falling in Love 152 Love and Addiction 153 Contrasting Intimate Relationships and Addictive Relationships 154 How to End a Relationship 155 Assignment 156 Part C: Community Session Twelve: Our Communities 159 Self-Soothing Activity: Progressive Muscle Relaxation 160 Our Communities 162 Visualization 163 Friendship 167 Assignment 168 What?s in a Name? 170 Session Thirteen: Th e Importance of Safety 171 Safety in the Community 172 The Four Kinds of Safety 173 Environment and Behavior 175 Safe and Unsafe Environments 176 Safety and the Body 177 Community Maps?Past, Present, and Future 178 Assignment 182 Session Fourteen: Creating Community 183 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 184 Crossroads 186 Making Good Decisions 188 Assignment 190 Session Fifteen: Th e Power of Community 193 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 194 Activity: Writing About a Kind Act 195 Assignment 196 Part D: Society Session Sixteen: Society and Violence 199 Self-Soothing Activity: Breathing in the Positive 200 Reviewing the Risks for Violence 201 The Culture Wheel 202 Institutional and Cultural Supports for Domestic Violence 204 Working to End Violence 206 Art as an Expression of the Levels of Violence 209 Assignment 211 Session Seventeen: Creating Change 215 Health, Harmony, and Wholeness 216 The Spirals of Transformation 218 Assignment 221 Session Eighteen: Transforming Our Lives 223 Visualization 224 The Role of Remorse in Transformation 225 The Process of Transformation 226 Making Amends 227 Forgiveness 228 Assignment 229 Session Nineteen: Honoring Ourselves and Our Community 231 The Relational Wheel 232 Are You Becoming the Person You Want to Be? 234 ORID 235 Appreciation 237 Appendix Yoga Poses 239 About the Author 245 About the Cover 247

About the Author

Stephanie S. Covington, PhD, LCSW, is a clinician, author, and organizational consultant. She is a pioneer in the design and implementation of gender-responsive treatment services for women in public, private, and institutional settings.

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