Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword by Kathleen Stock

Chapter 1  Sex must be taken seriously

Chapter 2  Men and women are different

Chapter 3  Not all desires are good

Chapter 4  Loveless sex is not empowering

Chapter 5  Consent is not enough

Chapter 6  Violence is not love

Chapter 7  People are not products

Chapter 8  Marriage is good

Conclusion Listen to Your Mother

Notes

About the Author

Louise Perry is a writer and long-time campaigner against sexual violence. She is the host of Maiden Mother Matriarch, a podcast about sexual politics, which is available on all podcast platforms.

Reviews

"This clear-sighted, compassionate book challenges the reigning sexual orthodoxy of 'anything goes', showing the many uncounted costs it imposes on women. A must-read for conservatives and feminists alike."
Mary Harrington, Contributing Editor, UnHerd "In this thoughtful, timely and witty book, Louise Perry exposes the travesty of 'sex positive' feminism as neither positive nor sexy and argues for new thinking which puts women's true interests, desires and happiness at its heart."
Janice Turner, Times columnist and feature writer "books such as Perry's matter […] many of her arguments — that consent is an inadequate measure of what is and is not abuse, that the valuing of sexual freedom over mutual dependency benefits the most privileged at the expense of the least, that physical strength differences between men and women matter enormously — seem to me hugely important, yet completely absent from so much of the feminism I have known."
The Critic "... tackles the costs of the sexual revolution head-on... a brave and unflinching book"
Nina Power, author of What Do Men Want? "This is a marvellously essential book, brilliantly argued. Perry has written the most radical feminist challenge to a failed liberal feminism."
Phyllis Chesler, writer, feminist and psychologist, author of Women and Madness "Brilliantly conceived and written, this highly original book is an urgent call for a sexual counter-revolution. A book as stimulating as the splash of icy water that wakes someone from a nightmare."
Helen Joyce, author of Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality "Those feminists who assume this book is not for them – give it a go. Brilliantly written, cleverly argued, packed with fascinating ideas and information: agree or disagree with the central premise, it is fresh and exciting."
Julie Bindel, feminist and writer, author of ​Feminism for Women "... crisply readable polemic...."
The Times "It's a combination of beliefs that will outrage almost everyone. Radical feminists, the old-guard 1960s firebrands, will agree with her on porn, but be aghast by the chapter on marriage; social conservatives will love the marriage chapter, but bristle at Perry’s approval of abortion; the new generation of liberal feminists, who have known nothing but sexual freedom, may well despise it all."
The Sunday Times "clear-sighted"
Suzanne Moore, The Sunday Telegraph "She's right - and courageous."
Mary Kenny "urgent and daring and brave. It may turn out to be one of the most important feminist books of its time."
Rachel Cooke, The Observer "... Louise Perry lobs a grenade into feminist discourse."
Irish Examiner "This is a provocative book. More than once, its author says the unsayable. It makes you think, and it makes you want for a better world. It is urgent and daring and brave. It may turn out to be one of the most important feminist books of its time."
Rachel Cooke, The Guardian "challenging and thought-provoking."
Hugo Rifkind, The Times "... will ruffle liberal feathers all over the coop."
London Magazine "Perry undeniably has a sharp eye both for the ways in which contemporary feminism risks eating itself... and for those guilty feminist moments where emotions awkwardly refuse to comply with the theoretical ideal. Any woman who has ever had what was meant to be a gloriously hedonistic no-strings fling, only to find herself anxiously checking her WhatsApps just to see if he's called, will recognise something here."
Gaby Hinsliff, the New Statesman "This could be a movement in its nascent days."
Prospect "[Perry's] book suggests a renewed bibliography that enables the reader to grasp the paradoxes at play within liberal feminism's theses."
Lola Salem, The Critic "This 'crisply readable' polemic questions whether sexual freedom is really as liberating as it sounds"
The Week
"Riveting"
The Spectator "Perry musters and masters the evidence. Her case is powerful, moving, and — as you may be able to tell from the tone of this piece — angering."
Church Times "Arguing that young women need to protect themselves from a sexual culture that treats them as disposable, Perry urges them to draw from the accumulated wisdom of previous generations."
Michelle Goldberg, The New York Times "[Perry] is writing on behalf of legions of women without PhDs or platforms, those who do not possess the ideological jargon to describe what they've endured and can only share their lived experiences."
Jonathon van Maren for the European Conservative "Brave, excoriating, and magnificent."
Andrew Wilson, The Gospel Coalition "Must-read"
Rod Dreher, The American Conservative "The book is brave, bristling with insights, and beautifully written."
National Review "significant.... Perry is to be commended for her courage."
The Evangelical Times

“evidence that even feminists are starting to get the news”
Chronicles