Table of Contents

Introduction
I. Understanding Your Parent’s Dementia
1. What Is Dementia? How Is It Different from Just Getting Older?
2. How Can I Know for Sure If My Parent Has Dementia?
3. What Causes Memory Loss?: Alzheimer’s Disease and the Many Other Causes
4. What to Expect: How the Problem Typically Progresses
5. Can Dementia Be Treated to Make It Less Severe?
II. Understanding Your New Relationship with Your Parent
6. Why Caring for Parents with Dementia Is So Much Harder than Caring for Parents with Other Diseases
7. The Biggest Mistake Family Members Make
8. Your New Relationship with Your Parent
9. Your Relationship with Your Other Parent or Stepparent
10. Taking Care of Yourself Is Not an Afterthought
III. Caring Smarter, Not Harder
11. What It Means to Care Smarter
12. How to Communicate with a Parent with Dementia
13. Avoiding Headaches with Your Parent’s Finances
14. When Is It Okay to Lie to Your Parent?
15. Keeping Your Parent Safe at Home
16. Getting Help When Your Parent Lives at Home or with You
17. How to Take Away the Car Keys
18. What Causes Problem Behaviors
19. How to Reduce Problem Behaviors
20. How to Handle Problem Behaviors When They Occur
21. Responding to Your Other Family Members and Friends
IV. The Later Stages
22. Moving Your Parent to a Care Facility
23. How to Choose a Care Facility
24. How Am I Going to Pay for All This?
25. Your Relationship with Your Parent in a Care Facility
26. Dealing with the End of Life
Resources
Notes
Index

About the Author

Thomas F. Harrison is a professional writer and the former editor of a leading national periodical for attorneys. Based in Massachusetts, he is the coauthor of The Complete Family Guide to Dementia and The Complete Family Guide to Addiction.

Brent P. Forester, MD, is the Dr. Francis S. Arkin Professor and Chair of Psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, Psychiatrist-in-Chief and Chairman for the Department of Psychiatry at Tufts Medical Center, and Director of Behavioral Health for Tufts Medicine. Dr. Forester's award-winning research focuses on developing effective treatments and models of care for dementia and mood disorders in older adults.

Reviews

"What a fantastic guide! The book empowers and validates caregivers. You will get needed answers and guidance, and ways to reduce fears and anxieties. Relatable, authentic, practical--this is the book I wish I'd had when my mother was diagnosed.”--Karen F., Marblehead, Massachusetts

"Two dedicated experts walk caregivers through everything from understanding a loved one's diagnosis to dealing with the entire range of expected medical, psychiatric, and behavioral issues. Most important, this book is a guide to building the best possible relationship with the person who is living and even thriving in spite of his or her cognitive changes."--Marc E. Agronin, MD, author of The End of Old Age: Living a Longer, More Purposeful Life

“This book is a lifesaver. In down-to-earth language, it deftly captures the latest expert advice about dementia care. Dr. Forester brilliantly cared for my wife with dementia—and taught me, her chief care partner, how to survive and thrive.”--Jerry M., Cambridge, Massachusetts

"For the adult child of a parent with dementia, the emotional impact is unlike any other disease. This reassuring book helps you navigate your new role in your relationship with your parent and provides concrete, useful advice for managing common concerns. The authors show how 'working smarter' can enhance your loved one's quality of life. It is sure to be a trusted guidebook and companion."--Susan W. Lehmann, MD, Clinical Director, Division of Geriatric Psychiatry and Neuropsychiatry, The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

"This wonderful book speaks directly to adult children caring for a parent with dementia, and gives equal weight to the facts, the feelings, and the often bumpy road to understanding, acceptance, and effective care. The sections on how to communicate and resolve conflicts with the 'other' parent--the one who doesn't have dementia--are unique. Above all, this book shows us how to focus on the feelings--our own, our siblings', and our parents'--that are at the heart of caregiving but can give us the biggest challenges.”--Soo Borson, MD, Professor of Clinical Family Medicine, University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine; Professor Emerita of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, University of Washington

“This remarkable, eye-opening book should be required reading for dementia care navigators, as well as for the families to whom it is addressed.”--Joe Costello, dementia advocate; member, Massachusetts Governor’s Advisory Council on Alzheimer’s and All Other Dementias

“When someone close to me was diagnosed with dementia, I found this book exceptionally helpful. I now better understand the disease and how it is likely to progress. Reading it helped me move forward with greater understanding and compassion. I have picked it up on numerous occasions since; it is a trusted companion. I highly recommend this book to anyone with a loved one (not just a parent) with dementia.”--Dennis Greenberger, PhD, coauthor of Mind Over Mood-Compassionate and empathic….The content will inspire, uplift, and inform while preserving dignity.--The Caregiver's Voice, 2/8/2023ƒƒThe book serves as a comforting and orienting primer for the loved ones of an individual with dementia. From the earliest stages of the illness to preparing for the final days of life, the authors give practical advice and concise menus of options….It offers important psychological descriptions and practical experiences that can serve to prepare families for the path that lies ahead, offer validation for the challenges of caregiving, and remind the caregiving families of the importance of respite and self-care. *****!--Doody's Review Service, 12/23/2022

"What a fantastic guide! The book empowers and validates caregivers. You will get needed answers and guidance, and ways to reduce fears and anxieties. Relatable, authentic, practical--this is the book I wish I'd had when my mother was diagnosed.”--Karen F., Marblehead, Massachusetts

"Two dedicated experts walk caregivers through everything from understanding a loved one's diagnosis to dealing with the entire range of expected medical, psychiatric, and behavioral issues. Most important, this book is a guide to building the best possible relationship with the person who is living and even thriving in spite of his or her cognitive changes."--Marc E. Agronin, MD, author of The End of Old Age: Living a Longer, More Purposeful Life

“This book is a lifesaver. In down-to-earth language, it deftly captures the latest expert advice about dementia care. Dr. Forester brilliantly cared for my wife with dementia—and taught me, her chief care partner, how to survive and thrive.”--Jerry M., Cambridge, Massachusetts

"For the adult child of a parent with dementia, the emotional impact is unlike any other disease. This reassuring book helps you navigate your new role in your relationship with your parent and provides concrete, useful advice for managing common concerns. The authors show how 'working smarter' can enhance your loved one's quality of life. It is sure to be a trusted guidebook and companion."--Susan W. Lehmann, MD, Clinical Director, Division of Geriatric Psychiatry and Neuropsychiatry, The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

"This wonderful book speaks directly to adult children caring for a parent with dementia, and gives equal weight to the facts, the feelings, and the often bumpy road to understanding, acceptance, and effective care. The sections on how to communicate and resolve conflicts with the 'other' parent--the one who doesn't have dementia--are unique. Above all, this book shows us how to focus on the feelings--our own, our siblings', and our parents'--that are at the heart of caregiving but can give us the biggest challenges.”--Soo Borson, MD, Professor of Clinical Family Medicine, University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine; Professor Emerita of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, University of Washington

“This remarkable, eye-opening book should be required reading for dementia care navigators, as well as for the families to whom it is addressed.”--Joe Costello, dementia advocate; member, Massachusetts Governor’s Advisory Council on Alzheimer’s and All Other Dementias

“When someone close to me was diagnosed with dementia, I found this book exceptionally helpful. I now better understand the disease and how it is likely to progress. Reading it helped me move forward with greater understanding and compassion. I have picked it up on numerous occasions since; it is a trusted companion. I highly recommend this book to anyone with a loved one (not just a parent) with dementia.”--Dennis Greenberger, PhD, coauthor of Mind Over Mood-Compassionate and empathic….The content will inspire, uplift, and inform while preserving dignity.--The Caregiver's Voice, 2/8/2023Æ’Æ’The book serves as a comforting and orienting primer for the loved ones of an individual with dementia. From the earliest stages of the illness to preparing for the final days of life, the authors give practical advice and concise menus of options….It offers important psychological descriptions and practical experiences that can serve to prepare families for the path that lies ahead, offer validation for the challenges of caregiving, and remind the caregiving families of the importance of respite and self-care. *****!--Doody's Review Service, 12/23/2022