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Dating the Second Time Around


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Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION; CHAPTER ONE: LOOKING AT YOU Turn the mirror on yourself: what great qualities do you have to bring to a relationship? Why have your relationships not worked in the past? Are you ready to move on from your last relationship? Which areas of yourself can you work on before you start dating?; CHAPTER TWO: COMPATIBILITY EXPLAINED You may have thought 'chemistry' was the most important thing, but what does it really mean? What are the qualities that indicate true compatibility?; CHAPTER THREE: WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A PARTNER? Create a new shopping list with 'must haves' and 'can't stands'. Working out what is important to you, now and in the future; CHAPTER FOUR: LOOKING FOR THAT CERTAIN SOMEONE Where to look: through friends and acquaintances, work, leisure activities, online, small ads, dating agencies, speed-dating. Drafting your profile for an agency or online site. Making the first approaches. A note on security. How to deal with rejection; CHAPTER FIVE: DOS AND DON'TS ON A FIRST DATE Do: keep it light, be interested in them, use your conversation skills, listen to your instincts and be honest. Don't: discuss marriage or your sexual preferences; CHAPTER SIX: THE EARLY WEEKS How to tell whether they have the core traits and values you're looking for without subjecting them to the third degree. Check that you aren't falling into old relationship patterns. Being realistic if it doesn't work out; CHAPTER SEVEN: MAKING IT WORK Bonding experiences. Conflict resolution. Dealing with annoying habits/accepting what you can't change. Support in bad times. Celebrating positive events. Expressing gratitude; CHAPTER EIGHT: SPECIAL CHALLENGES THE SECOND TIME AROUND Habits can be more set as you get older. Meeting children from previous relationships and possibly creating a blended family. Difficult exes. Meshing social networks. Meeting your families. Geography - when you both have a home already, where do you stay? Money - should you keep it separate? Dealing with illness or depression; CHAPTER NINE: PREPARING FOR COMMITMENT What questions should you ask before you move in with someone, buy a house together or get married? How should you prepare for parenthood?; CHAPTER TEN: KEEPING IT FRESH AND FUN Test your relationship to see if it still checks all the boxes. Wisdom from the eHarmony labs on maintaining respect for and interest in your partner. Keep building your relationship skills; eHarmony Company Overview; Acknowledgements; Index.

Promotional Information

* Published in association with eHarmony, the fastest growing online dating organisation in the UK with over 1 million subscribers; * The subject of a major marketing campaign in association with eHarmony; * There are 8 million singles in the UK; * 69% of first dates are now arranged via a social networking site or through an online dating service; * UK visits to online dating sites have grown by 16% over the last 2 years. Of these new visitors, the majority are over 35 years old.

About the Author

Dr Gian Gonzaga, Ph.D, is an expert in the field of relationships, emotions and health psychology. In his work for eHarmony, Dr Gonzaga is researching initial attraction and directing one of the largest and most comprehensive studies of marriage to date. Prior to joining eHarmony Dr Gonzaga worked with world renowned marriage researcher Dr Thomas Bradbury at the University of California, Los Angeles. There he researched the factors that led to marital success as part of an 11-year study of married couples. He has taught, presented and published extensively on topics relating to relationships, love and health, and has received numerous honours and awards for his work, including the prestigious National Science foundation minority Predoctoral Fellowship and Psi Chi National Undergraduate Research Competition.

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