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Decoding Dating


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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments. Introduction. 1. To Disclose or Not to Disclose: The Positives and Pitfalls of Autism Disclosure. 2. Entering the Dating Arena. 3. Flirting: Giving and Reading Signals. 4. Caution: Read Before Dating. 5. Getting Ready for the Big Night. 6. Interview or Interrogation. 7. She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not: Assessing the Aftermath of the Date. 8. Dating Pointers. 9. What is a Relationship? 10. Are All Relationships Created Equally? 11. What Type of Woman is Right for Me? 12. Qualities Found in an Ideal Girlfriend. 13. Communication is the Key. 14. Aspie and Autie Pitfalls in Relationships. 15. How to Attempt to Make a Relationship Work. 16. Meeting Her Family and Friends. 17. Sex: The Double Edged Sword. Conclusion. Autism and Relationships Glossary. Useful Resources.

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Methodically breaking down the steps of dating and giving honest, helpful, advice

About the Author

John Miller was born in Montreal, Canada. He completed a BA in Political Science from Florida Atlantic University and a Masters in Special Education before embarking on a career teaching students with Autism Spectrum Disorder. During this time he was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and he became a strong advocate for individuals on the spectrum. In 2011 he was invited to be a Board Member of the Autism Society of Florida. He currently works as an autism facilitator and teacher at Boca Raton Middle School and he runs transition and independence skills workshops with young adults. He lives with his wife and daughter in Coconut Creek, Florida.


While it's not always obvious in our behavior, dating can be a baffling experience for many men. Author John Miller demystifies many challenges related to dating by providing what's needed by everyone, including men living on the autism spectrum - he gives us information! Miller discusses very personal aspects of relationship building and provides practical advice related to confusing aspects of dating, such as self-disclosure, flirting behavior, dating rituals, and the pitfalls that can sometimes accompany relationships. Through anecdotes and the sharing of his personal journey, Miller reminds men living on the spectrum that dating can be a successful and enjoyable experience. -- Dr. Marc Ellison, Interim Executive Director, West Virginia Autism Training Center, Marshall University
A wonderfully practical and helpful book on a very important issue. This volume is full of helpful suggestions and will be of great interest to individuals with social disabilities navigating the complex world of social relationships. -- Dr. Fred Volkmar, Director of Child Study Center at Yale University School of Medicine and Editor-in-Chief of Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders
In Decoding Dating John Miller strips bare the intricacies of dating and relationships that can be elusive to all adults. With a style that is brutally honest and embedded with humor and personal experience, John provides a thorough set of basic instructions for the aspiring dater. Decoding Dating is a particularly rich guidebook for men with Autism Spectrum Disorder. -- Professor Lindee Morgan, Florida State University Autism Institute
John Miller takes on the difficult terrain of dating with objectivity and sensitivity. John patches up the twists and turns that follow the ever-evasive art of dating and courting, with practical ideas and clear explanations that will help everyone (on the autism spectrum or not) understand the nuances and importance of dating with grace and class. I'm going to strongly suggest my husband read this book! -- Liane Holliday Willey, author of Pretending to be Normal, Safety Skills for Asperger Women, Asperger Syndrome in the Family, and editor of Asperger Syndrome in Adolescence
John Miller's book is aimed at the male with autism seeking a female partner. John is an adult with autism himself who is married with a child... He shares some of his personal experiences and professional practice as a teacher of students with Autism Spectrum Conditions along with his guidance and advice... Sections of the book are extremely valuable, particularly in the realms of teaching and awareness in social expectations and making the relationship work... There is much that any adult with autism can learn from this book, regardless of whether they are seeking a partner or not. -- Sarah Hendrickx, author * GAP - Good Autism Practice *

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