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Disagreements, Disputes, and All-out War
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Table of Contents

Contents Acknowledgments ix Introduction xi Section One: The Emotional-Rational-Intuitive (E-R-I) Method Chapter 1: Managing Conflict with the E-R-I Model 3 Chapter 2: Dealing with the Emotions 11 Chapter 3: Using Your Reason 22 Chapter 4: Working with Your Intuition 32 Section Two: Handling the Emotions Chapter 5: Recognizing the Reasons for a Conflict 41 Chapter 6: Dealing with Your Own Angers and Fears 61 Chapter 7: Avoiding the Responsibility Trap 76 Section Three: Applying Your Reason Chapter 8: Overcoming Conflicts Through Better Communication 95 Chapter 9: Understanding the Different Conflict Styles 114 Chapter 10: Choosing the Best Conflict Style 131 Chapter 11: Negotiating Win-Win Solutions 146 Chapter 12: Learning to Deal with Difficult People 163 Section Four: Using Your Intuition to Discover New Possibilities Chapter 13: Coming Up with Alternatives and Solutions 187 Chapter 14: Turning Your Conflicts into Creative Opportunities 204 Index 217 About the Author 225

About the Author

Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D. (Oakland, CA) is the Founder and Director of Changemakers and the author of many books, including A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses (978-0-8144-7298-9), and A Survival Guide for Working with Humans (978-0-8144-7205-7). Frequently sought out by the media, she has been interviewed for Good Morning America, Oprah, Geraldo at Large, Montel Williams, The O'Reilly Factor, The New York Times, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan.

Reviews

"Gini Graham Scott takes the mystery out of why we have conflicts and provides a straightforward way to approach conflicts. When I got to the section on four ways of dealing with conflicts -- avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and confronting -- I could recall instances of each type in my own life and better understand why they unfolded the way they did. The book almost made me long for a conflict to try out its theories -- pretty impressive since I'm generally an 'avoider.'"

--Marci Alboher, "Shifting Careers" New York Times Blog


"Gini Graham Scott takes the mystery out of why we have conflicts and provides a straightforward way to approach conflicts. When I got to the section on four ways of dealing with conflicts - avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and confronting - I could recall instances of each type in my own life and better understand why they unfolded the way they did. The book almost made me long for a conflict to try out its theories - pretty impressive since I'm generally an 'avoider.'" --Marci Alboher, "Shifting Careers" New York Times Blog


"Gini Graham Scott takes the mystery out of why we have conflicts and provides a straightforward way to approach conflicts. When I got to the section on four ways of dealing with conflicts -- avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and confronting -- I could recall instances of each type in my own life and better understand why they unfolded the way they did. The book almost made me long for a conflict to try out its theories -- pretty impressive since I'm generally an 'avoider.'" --Marci Alboher, "Shifting Careers" New York Times Blog


"Gini Graham Scott takes the mystery out of why we have conflicts and provides a straightforward way to approach conflicts. When I got to the section on four ways of dealing with conflicts -- avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and confronting -- I could recall instances of each type in my own life and better understand why they unfolded the way they did. The book almost made me long for a conflict to try out its theories -- pretty impressive since I'm generally an 'avoider.'"

--Marci Alboher, "Shifting Careers" New York Times Blog

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