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What kind of first impression do you make? A first impression is the most important impression you'll ever make--and you get only one chance to make it. Business deals can be made or broken, first dates become second dates or not, friendships are created or fail to form; everything hinges on that all-important initial encounter. And yet most of us don't know how we're really seen by others. Many of us don't know how to make a good impression.
Wouldn't you like others to see you as confident, interesting, attractive, and sincere? Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., consultants to many Fortune 100 companies as well as creators of First Impressions, Inc., a New York-based dating and consulting firm, offer you the keys to putting your best self forward in any new situation, whether you want to strike up a conversation at a party or are meeting a blind date or a new business client.
You'll learn to see yourself as others see you, and how to tweak your style to create the impression that reflects the real you. Breaking down a successful first impression into its seven fundamentals, the authors show you how to master these principles so that you can make the best first impression. They also show how to avoid common misunderstandings that leave others with a bad impression, how to reveal the four universal social gifts, and they outline practical steps you can take to enhance your personal charm.
Informative and filled with enlightening research studies, do-it-yourself checklist reviews, and dozens of helpful case histories, First Impressions is a fun, groundbreaking, and long-overdue guide to the most important moment of virtually any relationship: the first.

"Fromthe Hardcover edition.

Product Details

About the Author

Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., are the founders of First Impressions, Inc., a unique consulting firm that helps clients understand how they are perceived on first dates and in social situations, as well as consultants to managers in Fortune 100 companies on communication and leadership skills. They and First Impressions, Inc., have been featured in newspapers and magazines around the world and over such radio and television broadcast outlets as NPR, BBC, Public Radio International, 20/20, CBS, and Lifetime, among others. Dr. Demarais lives in New York City, and Dr. White lives in New Jersey. From the Hardcover edition.

Reviews

A person gets only one chance to make a first impression-and it's often those first few minutes that make or break a potential relationship. Demarais and White, consultants to many Fortune 100 companies, have pooled their knowledge and experience to help people put their best foot forward. They do so by explaining the seven components of a first impression (e.g., accessibility, conversational dynamics, and self-disclosure) and guiding readers through self-assessment exercises. Insight on what behaviors form positive vs. negative impressions is also offered. Both informative and entertaining, this book asks provocative questions that will promote self-awareness and provides many examples of client behavior to reveal the signals that people send during ordinary conversation. It will be especially helpful to those who deal with other people, be they business clients, fellow partygoers, or potential dates. Students in communications or other social sciences might also find the book useful, as it incorporates current research.-Deborah Bigelow, Leonia P.L., NJ Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

Adult/High School-From friendships to business relationships, first impressions can have a huge personal, emotional, and financial impact on one's life. This book is a review of the scientific literature on how one is perceived by others during the first few minutes of social interaction. The authors summarize the current literature and place it into charts, allowing readers to easily determine the most appropriate strategy for making a good first impression. The material is interesting and flows well. The book is content rich with information that could be used daily by teens as they begin to establish mature personal and professional relationships.-John Kiefman, Fairfax County Public Library, VA Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

The authors, both psychologists, run a New York-based business that coaches professionals on how they present themselves in business contexts and singles on how they appear during staged dates. In breezy helpful style, this book helps readers identify gaps between self-perception and actual effect. The secret to a good first impression, the authors argue, is "social generosity," carefully helping others feel good about themselves, whether through "appreciation," "connection," "elevation" (good spirits) or "enlightenment" (new information). Each chapter covers one of "Seven Fundamentals of a First Impression" (including the need for self-disclosure and for fluency in conversational dynamics); each ends with a checklist of "positive topic behaviors" and "common miscommunications" (e.g., if you focus on one topic, you may think you're passionate but you come off as self-absorbed). While some insights are basic (eye contact as an indication of interest), the authors thoroughly dissect interactions that are eminently flubbable. For example, the most common violation of "talking with" is "talking at," which can include lecturing, storytelling, sermonizing and telling jokes. The insights presented here are based not just on the authors' experience as consultants but also on the psychological literature: getting in sync with a partner, the research shows, requires coordinated smiling, gesturing and a mutual attentive gaze. The secret to sex appeal? Androgynous characteristics matched with confidence and warmth. This highly practical book ends with suggestions on how to tweak your style, including asking friends for feedback and consciously charting behaviors. To their credit, the authors remind newly enlightened readers of the importance of cutting others slack: somewhat annoying behavior may stem from good intentions. (Mar.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

"This is a not a book for people looking for hope, it is a book for people looking for change....This will be a great help to [those] who too often feel less fulfilled by initial social interactions than they expect or hope. Without a shred of scientific evidence on the point, I would wager that this is just about everyone. If fact, I would suspect that anyone who feels that they have nothing to learn from this book is more likely to be oblivious than adept."--T. James Matthews, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, Vice Dean of the Graduate School of Arts and Science, New York University "[The authors] have charted the geography of the most important phase of interpersonal communication. Their guide will undoubtedly improve the quality of life for those seeking genuineness in their relationships....FIRST IMPRESSIONS offers help which is practical, inspirational and honest."--Peter Urey, Marketing Director, Hewlett-Packard Company "For anyone interested in winning friends and influencing people, this book is essential reading. If only it had been around ten years ago, my book might have had a different title." -- Toby Young, author of How to Lose Friends & Alienate People "The feedback from one 'date' with First Impressions, Inc. changed my life. This book will help you make new friends, get ahead in business and avoid the subtle little disasters that prevent us from being and doing our best. Essential reading for people interested in getting along with the human race."--Ted Rall, cartoonist, author of Revenge of the Latchkey Kids and To Afghanistan and Back"Don't break eye contact when reading First Impressions! You'll miss out on how a positive first impression can be the start of a great business or personal relationship. A compelling, engaging, and entertaining book that provides basic principles everyone can use to make that winning first impression "--Matthew Jones, SVP - Leadership and Management Development, Marsh Inc. [brokerage company] "Have you ever felt alone in a room full of strangers who seem to know everyone except you?...This book is full of examples of real-life experiences and post mortem diagnosis that, until now, was limited to those few fortunate enough to have been coached by one of these ladies. Although the book is about first impressions, I have found applications in teamwork, project launches, and my personal and family life. In reality, this book is less about first impressions and more about lasting impressions."--Sam Kim, R&D Project Manager, Hewlett-Packard Company "FIRST IMPRESSIONS made a lasting impression on me! The insights about how and why people react to certain behaviors in initial meetings are terrific. I immediately understood what I do to create good and not-so-good first impressions and the awareness has carried through to all my new business interactions since finishing the book. I can't wait to share this book with the people I manage and mentor. If you are new at dating, interviewing, or selling, FIRST IMPRESSIONS is a must-read." --Karen Steinberg, Chief Information Officer, Aon Risk Services [insurance company] "Breezy, helpful ... highly practical."--Publishers Weekly From the Hardcover edition. This is a not a book for people looking for hope, it is a book for people looking for change .This will be a great help to [those] who too often feel less fulfilled by initial social interactions than they expect or hope. Without a shred of scientific evidence on the point, I would wager that this is just about everyone. If fact, I would suspect that anyone who feels that they have nothing to learn from this book is more likely to be oblivious than adept. --T. James Matthews, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, Vice Dean of the Graduate School of Arts and Science, New York University [The authors] have charted the geography of the most important phase of interpersonal communication. Their guide will undoubtedly improve the quality of life for those seeking genuineness in their relationships .FIRST IMPRESSIONS offers help which is practical, inspirational and honest. --Peter Urey, Marketing Director, Hewlett-Packard Company "For anyone interested in winning friends and influencing people, this book is essential reading. If only it had been around ten years ago, my book might have had a different title." -- Toby Young, author of "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People ""The feedback from one 'date' with First Impressions, Inc. changed my life. This book will help you make new friends, get ahead in business and avoid the subtle little disasters that prevent us from being and doing our best. Essential reading for people interested in getting along with the human race."--Ted Rall, cartoonist, author of "Revenge of the Latchkey Kids" and "To Afghanistan and Back""Don't break eye contact when reading "First Impressions"! You'll miss out on how a positive first impression can be the start of a great business or personal relationship. A compelling, engaging, and entertaining book that provides basic principles everyone can use to make that winning first impression "--Matthew Jones, SVP - Leadership and Management Development, Marsh Inc. [brokerage company] Have you ever felt alone in a roomfull of strangers who seem to knoweveryoneexcept you?...This book is full of examples of real-life experiences andpost mortem diagnosisthat, until now, was limited to those few fortunate enough to have been coachedby one of these ladies. Although the book is about first impressions, I have found applications in teamwork, project launches, and my personal and family life. In reality, this book is less about first impressions and more aboutlasting impressions. --Sam Kim, R&D Project Manager, Hewlett-Packard Company "FIRST IMPRESSIONS made a lasting impression on me! The insights about how and why people react to certain behaviors in initial meetings are terrific. I immediately understood what I do to create good and not-so-good first impressions and the awareness has carried through to all my new business interactions since finishing the book. I can't wait to share this book with the people I manage and mentor. If you are new at dating, interviewing, or selling, FIRST IMPRESSIONS is a must-read." --Karen Steinberg, Chief Information Officer, Aon Risk Services [insurance company] "Breezy, helpful highly practical."--"Publishers Weekly" "From the Hardcover edition.""

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