Table of Contents

Thank you xi

Foreword xiii

Preface to the First Edition xv

Preface to the Revised Edition xvii

Part One The Hurting Begins

1. You’re Not Alone 3

2. Is What Happened Really Abuse? 13

3. Internet Sex Crimes 23

Part Two Blowing the Whistle

4. Telling 41

5. What Will People Say? 59

6. What’s Happening to Me? 66

7. Living with Your Family After You Tell 78

8. Going to Court 101

Part Three Forward Motion

9. Healing Is a Choice 125

10. Respecting How You Survived 138

11. Making Way for Your Future 154

12. Forgiving: Will You or Won’t You? 171

13. Sex: What It Is, What It Isn’t 180

Part Four Things to Know

14. What You Should Know About Offenders 201

15. What Friends of Victims Should Know 218

16. What Some Survivors Would Like You to Know 234

Notes 249

Bibliography 251

Index 255

The Authors 267

About the Author

THE AUTHORS

CYNTHIA L. MATHER is a survivor of sexual abuse and incest, and speaks at schools, colleges, and churches across the country about child and teenage sexual abuse treatment and prevention.

KRISTINA E. DEBYE, L.C.S.W.C., A.C.S.W., D.C.S.W., is coordinator of the nationally acclaimed Baltimore County Sexual Abuse Treatment Program and maintains a private practice in Maryland.

Reviews

"The many aspects and complexities of incest and sexual abuse are well covered in this book. Notwithstanding the comprehensive presentation of factual information, its strength lies in its emphasis on empowerment and healing. How Long Does It Hurt? fully achieves its claim as a guide to recovering from incest and sexual abuse for teenagers, their friends, and their families and will likely fulfill the author's wish that teens will learn that they are not alone and can successfully continue on from the pain."