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Many have been victimized by trying to save others whether out of some sense of obligation to the individual, our duty to God or selfish ambitions. Sometimes we overstep our bounds by taking matters into our hands as it pertains to those we "think" should be better people. How many relationships have you experienced where you felt "If I don't stay with him, he'll crumble?" Or better yet, "She's already depressed, and I am the only one that she can count on." How about the dreaded, "He doesn't have anyone else. I mean, if I'm not there for him then who will be?" Meanwhile, your energy and spirit were being drained because you believed it was your job to "save" your loved one. Perhaps, like you, I have personal experiences with relationships where someone "changed" to please me. But, it was not a complete metamorphosis. It was more like a masquerade. I kept trying harder and harder to impose change upon the individuals because "he's a good person" or "she's got potential". They became projects and would serve as proof of my abilities to influence others for righteousness. So I convinced myself that if I just tried harder or stayed around longer things would work out as I had planned. "Besides", I told myself, "if you love people you will hang in there for them." Eventually, I realized that this was not a good situation for ME. The harder I tried to impose my will, the less favorable results I achieved and the more my attitude became bitter toward people in general. I began to lose faith, not in God, but in others. Although it was not easy to divorce myself from these close ties, it was necessary for my own spiritual well-being. I have found that many Christians struggle in this area of trying to love like God does without compromising their personal salvation. We should examine our motives for spending large amounts of time pushing, pulling and prodding someone to do the right thing while exhausting our own spiritual energies that could be used in more produ
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