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Listen Up or Lose Out
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Want better results? Talk less and listen more. Listening might seem like the easiest thing in the world to do. But most people retain only a fraction of what they hear, resulting in miscommunications and lost opportunities. When you actively listen, you learn to gather perspectives, bridge differences, and resolve problems. Absorbing what a person is saying, thinking, and feeling sets the stage for dramatically improved relationships and increased professional success. Listen Up or Lose Out pulls this underused tool out from the shadows and highlights its role in effective communications. Step by step, the book breaks down listening into a set of learnable skills, explaining how to: Avoid the urge to criticize, question, or advise - Focus on the speaker's point of view - Ask the right questions, in the right order - Restate the speaker's key points and keep the conversation moving - Read people's feelings and reflect them back - Find solutions together Skilled listeners experience fewer conflicts, make better decisions, and discover opportunities that others might miss. No amount of talking beats great listening!
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Table of Contents

Introduction: What This Book Will Do for You xi PART I: WHY IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING? 1. Quality Listening Enhances Work Relationships 3 2. Listening Well Is Good Business 15 3. A Good Listener Is a Rare Find 23 4. Quality Listening Strengthens Personal Relationships 31 PART II: DO'S AND DON'TS OF GREAT LISTENING 5. Trouble Spots in the Talking--Listening Process 43 6. Identifying Your Listening Missteps 53 7. Reducing Major Missteps 67 8. Skill-Based Listening 71 9. Whose Turn Is it? 77 10. Focus Your Attention 83 11. Be a Great Asker 95 12. Creating and Sequencing Productive Questions 101 PART III: REFLECTING CONTENT 13. Reflective Listening: Antidote to Miscommunication 115 14. Paraphrase What's Important 129 15. Listen Through the Pauses 141 PART IV: READING AND REFLECTING OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS 16. Why Listen to People's Feelings? 151 17. "Read" People's Feelings 161 18. Reflect Feelings and Meanings 171 PART V: THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND 19. Wrap It Up with a Summary Reflection 185 20. Results-Focused Listening 193 21. The Listening Spirit 209 22. Make Great Listening Part of Your Everyday Life 219 Appendix 231 Endnotes 243 Index 261

About the Author

ROBERT BOLTON, PH.D., and DOROTHY GROVER BOLTON, ED.M., are cofounders of Ridge Associates, a training and consulting firm that serves many Fortune 500 companies. Together, they are the authors of People Styles at Work...and Beyond.

Reviews

..".most people retain only a fraction of what they hear. The solution is active listening. It's not a new skill, but the Boltons dust it off nicely and show how to master it." --Success magazine ..".not a new skill, but the Boltons dust it off nicely and show how to master it." - Success magazine

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