Table of Contents

• Foreword
• Introduction
• THE PROBLEM
• Chapter 1: Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enough
  • What is a meltdown?
  • The usual parenting advice: start with rules and consequences
  • The limits of discipline: when rewards and punishments no longer work
  • But aren’t meltdowns just manipulative behavior?
  • Can we really expect no more meltdowns?
  • An overview of the four-step model for reducing meltdowns
  • Chapter 2: What are meltdowns made of?
  • Fight, flight or freeze response
  • Temperament
  • Difficulties with abstract thinking and perspective taking
  • Inflexibility
  • An explosive combination
  • THE SOLUTION
  • Chapter 3: Accepting and appreciating our children
  • Controlling our own frustration
  • Building competence
  • Avoiding learned helplessness
  • The 80/20 rule
  • Anticipating frustration as part of learning
  • When to avoid power struggles
  • Chapter 4: De-escalating a meltdown
    • How to de-escalate a meltdown
    • Distractions
    • When too much distraction can make things worse
    • Helping children find their own distractions and calming strategies
    • Steps for creating self-calming strategies
    • Chapter 5: Understanding why repeat problems occur
    • Understanding the triggers
    • The ABCs of behavior: Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence
    • Getting the ABCs: Interviews and observations
    • Seeing the pattern
    • Chapter 6: Creating a prevention plan
    • The components of a good prevention plan
    • A prevention plan for Kevin
    • The four types of meltdown situations
    • Plans for the Four Types of Meltdown Situations
    • Chapter 7: Demands
    • Do your schoolwork
    • Try it, it’s delicious
    • Hurry up, the bus is coming
    • Clean up
    • Let’s go to the party
    • Chapter 8: Waiting
    • Just wait
    • You can’t always get what you want
    • Okay, time to stop playing
    • Chapter 9: Threats to self-image
    • Winning isn’t everything
    • It’s okay to make mistakes
    • But names will never hurt you
    • Chapter 10: Unmet wishes for attention
    • I can’t play with you now
    • Don’t be jealous
    • Time to go to bed
    • Chapter 11: Closing thoughts: Finding your own way
    • Prevention plan form
    • References

About the Author

Having earned his MA and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Albany, Dr. Jed Baker is a behavioral consultant for several New Jersey school districts where, nearly two decades ago, he organized a group to help children with social communication problems. That group expanded and ultimately became the Social Skills Training Project under Dr. Baker's directorship. Dr. Baker also presents lectures all over the world on social skills training, and is on the board of directors of the Asperger's Syndrome Education Network, Inc. (ASPEN). His work has been featured on ABC News and Nightline.

Reviews

This is a reminder that no one is perfect. Each child is different, and what works for one child may not work for the next child. He also gives practical, common-sense advice." - Washington Times Herald

"Jed Baker, in this excellent book, gives us the tools to deal with and prevent out-of-control behavior. Wisely, he leads us grown-ups to understand how to change our own behavior in order to help our children change theirs."—Carol Stock Kranowitz "Author of best-seller The Out-of-Sync Child"