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Real Boys

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Why are so many boys sad, lonely and confused although they appear tough, cheerful and confident?Based on the results of more than two decades of groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School, Dr Pollack argues that boys are not little men, and that parents and teachers should stop raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground.Only when we understand what boys are really experiencing, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression and violence, drugs and alcohol, sexuality and love.This edition of Real Boys carries a specially commissioned Australian preface by the author, and a front-cover testimonial from Steve Biddulph.
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In a lucidly written primer for parents, Harvard Medical School psychiatry professor Pollack dismantles what he terms "the Boy Code"‘society's image of boys as tough, cool, rambunctious and obsessed with sports, cars and sex. These stereotypes, he argues, thwart creativity and originality in boys. Linking clinical insights to practical suggestions, Pollack advises caregivers how to help boys repair their fragile self-esteem, develop empathy and explore their sensitive sides. Drawing on his clinical experience as well as an ongoing Harvard research project, he offers advice on "attention deficit disorder"‘ which, he maintains, is often a misdiagnosis for normal high-energy behavior‘ recognizing signs of depression, discouraging violence and helping boys cope with their parents' divorce. In discussing homosexuality, he notes that many of the assumptions of the psychiatric profession have been shown to be incorrect, such as that homosexuality was abnormal, a psychological disorder. Pollack's glorification of sports as an arena for self-transformation and emotional openness is counterbalanced by his recognition that athletics often encourages brutal competitiveness. His proposal that schools adopt curricula "on traditionally `male' and `female' topics" to spark separately the interests of boys and girls seems at odds with his own imperative to break through gender stereotypes. On balance, though, his manual is enlightening and stimulating. Author tour. (July)

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