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Reptiles in Love


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Table of Contents

Preface: Be Like Elvis! But Less Dead vii Introduction 1 Part I: Understanding the Reptile in Us 1. The Dinosaur Legacy: Why We Fight Poorly 13 2. Lizard Madness: Understanding Methods and Cycles in Stupid Fighting 35 Part II: Five Steps to Ending Destructive Fights and Evolving Toward More Loving Relationships 3. Step One: Assess Your Relationship 61 4. Step Two: Learn to Communicate in a Nonreptilian Manner 89 5. Step Three: Clarify Your Needs and Fears Together 109 6. Step Four: Add Positives and Build Intimacy 129 7. Step Five: Learn Nonreptilian Lovemaking 147 Part III: Special Issues for Evolving Reptiles 8. Once Bitten . . . : Surviving Betrayal 169 9. Reptiles in Therapy: An Introduction to Couples Therapy 193 10. Pure Divorce: If You Must, End and Leave Fully Human 209 Afterword: A Few Words in Closing 223 Notes 225 Resources 235 About the Author 247 Index 249

About the Author

Don Ferguson Ph.D. has been a leading teacher, trainer, and practitioner in the field of relationships and couples therapy for more than 20 years. He has presented hundreds of seminars and trainings to organizations and groups of psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists, and specifically has developed the Reptiles in Love program to the point where it is well researched, presented and taught frequently to professionals, and applied successfully by many couples who have benefited from it over the years. (See his websites:, and Presently staff Psychologist, he was formerly the Clinical Director for Psychiatry at Dean Health System, a major health care provider in Madison, Wisconsin.

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