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Sulky, Rowdy, Rude?


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Table of Contents

Part One. Introduction. 1. Who has the problem? 2. Children behave well if they can. 3. People do what makes most sense in each situation. 4. The one that takes responsibility can make a difference. 5. Children learn nothing from failure. 6. You need self-control to cooperate. 7. We all do what we can to maintain self-control. 8. Feelings are contagious. 9. Conflicts consist of solutions. 10. We make demands of children that they don't make of themselves - but in a way that works. 11. It is not fair to treat everyone the same. 12. You become the leader when someone follows you.
Part Two. We live in a garage. Cases: Liam and the morning row. Ava and the sibling row. Alvin wants to be alone. Hannah and tooth-brushing. The Principle of the gentle approach. Summary.

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A parent's guide to addressing their children's horrible behavioural issues

About the Author

Bo Hejlskov Elven is a Clinical Psychologist based in Sweden. He is an independent consultant and lecturer on autism and challenging behaviour, and an accredited Studio III trainer. In 2009, he was awarded the Puzzle Piece of the Year prize by the Swedish Autism Society for his lecturing and counselling on challenging behaviour. Tina Wiman is a specialist in the field of IT-support for children with special needs. Both Bo and Tina are parents.


Oscar Wilde advised that if we wanted children to be good we first needed to make them happy. In this simply written, yet sophisticated book Bo Hejlskov Elven and Tina Wiman invite us to understand the child's perspective through understanding our own part in it. Clear narrative and powerful vignettes combine to illustrate a range of gentle strategies to prevent or deal with conflict and confrontation that will appeal to parents and teachers alike. -- Richard Mills, Research Autism and University of Bath
Sulky, Rowdy, Rude? Yet again Bo Hejlskov Elven and his colleague Tina Wiman have produced a wonderfully reflective book for families to help them focus on the behaviour of their child. In my view this book can also be read by frontline carers and other professionals working with children. There are a series of easy to read chapters which focus on how to understand the behaviour of young children and the low arousal approach permeates the entire book. In a user friendly way there are many themes that focus on how we perceive behaviours. Chapters include: 'Children behave well if they can' and my personal favourite 'conflicts consist of solutions'. The authors tailor the book well to their main audience. I would recommend this book widely. -- Andrew McDonnell, Ph.D., CEO Studio3, Clinical Psychologist, and Visiting Professor of Autism Studies at Birmingham City University, UK

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