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A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens


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Table of Contents


Foreword by Ari Graynor



PART ONE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Raising a Teen

1 Deflection and Denial: Your Teen's Main Defense Mechanisms

2 My Teenage Clone: The Power of Conformity

3 Getting Your Teen Up in the Morning: Strategies for Eliminating the Daily Fight from the Morning Routine

4 You Can't Always Get What You Want: The Demanding and Entitled Teen

5 Too Much Time on Their Hands: The Busier the Teen, the More Motivated

6 The Power of Puberty: Changing Body, Changing Brain

7 L Is for Lazy: Getting Your Teens to Do What You Want Them to Do

8 Trust vs. Temptation: How to Help a Sneaky Teen

9 Lies of Omission: "Oh. I Didn't Think I Had to Tell You That"

10 Why Don't Boys Talk? A Different Kind of Silent Treatment

11 My Kid the Quitter: Why Won't My Teen Stick with Anything?

12 The Parent-Teen Power Struggle: You Can't Make Me

13 Helping Your Teen with Remembering: You Forgot Your __________ Again?

14 Teen Self-Absorption: My Teen the Narcissist

15 My Teen the Pit Bull: Never Takes No for an Answer

16 The Teen Who Talks Back: The Kid's Got Attitude

17 The Messy Room: To Clean or Not to Clean

PART TWO Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Keeping My Teen Motivated and Engaged in School

18 Why Can't My Teen Do Better? How to Assess Achievement

19 Studying and Learning vs. Texting and Facebook: Strategies for Time Management

20 The Plight of the Homework Avoider: It's Not Just Laziness

21 The Drama of Exams: A Strategy for Success

22 The Report Card: A Call to Action

23 Summer Reading: Thank You Teachers, for Ruining My Last Few Weeks of Summer

PART THREE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Navigating the College Process

24 Senioritis-Parentitis: Surviving the Application Process and Tips for Successful College Visits

25 Eenie, Meenie, Miney Mo, to Which College Should I Go? A Roadmap for Decision Making

26 What to Expect from Your High School Graduating Senior: Letting Go

27 What to Expect from Your College Students When They Return Home

PART FOUR Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Helping My Teen Avoid the Friendship Traps

28 The Bully Pulpit: Strategies to Ward Off a Bully

29 Loyalty in Teens Can Be Harmful to Their Health: Penn State, a Case Study

30 The Agony of a Ninth-Grade Boy: What It Feels Like to Be the Youngest Boy in the School

31 Teens Who Feel Left Out: "Why Don't They Ever Call Me?"

32 The Bad Seed Friend: What to Do About the Friend You Wish Your Teen Didn't Have

PART FIVE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Drinking and Drugs

33 Getting to Know Your Teen's Drinking Personality: What Motivates Your Teen to Drink or Do Drugs?

34 Keeping Your Teens Safe If or When They Choose to Drink: A Successful Strategy

35 The Consequences of Teens Drinking in Your Home: It's Always Your Responsibility to Keep Teens Safe

36 What Happens When Teens Are Left Unsupervised: A Room-for-Improvement Parenting Story

37 A Chilling Drinking Story: Alcohol and Date Rape

38 Dope, Weed, Pot, Grass, Cannabis, Marijuana, Hemp: They All Spell Trouble

39 Teen-Proofing Your Home for Alcohol and Drug Safety: Looking at Your Home Through a New Lens

40 Party Planning with Your Teen: Commonsense Rules

PART SIX Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Understanding and Dealing with My Teen's Sex Life

41 Talking to Your Teen About Sex

42 Boy Wants Sex, Girl Likes Boy: Helping Your Daughter Say No

43 Spin the Bottle and Other Sexual Situations: Strategies for Good Decision Making

44 Keeping Your Teen Dressing Like a Teen: Sexy and the Teenage Girl

45 Finding Your Teen Between the Sheets: Love in the Afternoon

46 Is Your Teen Gay/Lesbian? Discussions on Sexuality

PART SEVEN Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Online and Phone Sexting

47 The Consequences of Sexting: A "Weinergate" Moment

48 A Teenage Girl's Painful Lesson: A Private Photo Goes Public

49 Sexual Harassment: Sending Sexy Photos Is Not Always a Choice

50 Skyping, Sexting, and Exotic Dancing: The Allure of a Live Audience

51 The Legal Consequences of Sexting: My Son, the Sex Offender

PART EIGHT Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Cellphones and Smartphones

52 Cellphone/Smartphone Monitoring: Should I or Shouldn't I?

53 Dealing with Your Teen's Cellphone Addiction

54 Does My Teen Text Too Much? If So What Can I Do About It?

55 Driving Distracted: Don't Let Their Fingers Do the Talking When They're Driving

56 Teens Losing Sleep: Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Texting

57 Should I Buy My Teen a Smartphone?

58 A Scary Story: The Misuse of Smartphones

PART NINE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Social Networking Sites and Applications

59 Teaching Your Teen Safe Posting: The Too-Much-Information Dilemma

60 A "Friending" Intervention: Teaching Your Teen How to "Make Friends" on Social Networking Sites

61 To Give or Not to Give: My Parents, My Passwords

62 Facebook + Alcohol Posts = Problem Drinkers

63 Icky New Social Networking Sites . . . Beware!

64 Facebook Posts That Could Put Your Teen in Jail: Threats That Are Taken Seriously

65 Social Networking and the Stolen Identity: Keeping Your Teens Safe from Other Teens

66 I'll Give You My Password If You Give Me Yours: Going Steady in the 21st Century

67 Cleaning Up Facebook and Twitter Posts: Preparing Your Teen for the Real World of Jobs and College

68 Online Bullying: Being Made Fun Of Can Really Hurt

PART TEN Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . My Parenting Style

69 Four Ways of Fighting: A Roadmap for Effective Arguing

70 Puh-leez . . . No Lecture

71 Playing the Game of Curfew: "Please Can I? Everybody Else Is" 3

72 Ask Less, Get More: Stop the Interrogation

73 Too Much Love Can Be a Bad Thing: Holding Your Teen Accountable

74 Too Much, Too Soon: Understanding Age-Appropriate Privileges

75 "So What, Who Cares?" Making Consequences Mean Something

76 Teaching Your Teen About Money Management: Curbing the Teen Money Pit

77 I Just Don't Fit into This Family Anymore: Helping Your Teen to Feel Connected

78 Successful Rule Making: Sharing the Control

79 Good Cop-Bad Cop: A Parenting Dilemma

80 Finding the Bliss with Your Teen: Treasuring the Time


About the Author

About the Author

JOANI GELTMAN has a Masters degree in Social Work, and is an expert in child development and parenting. She presents her popular course, Adolescent Psychology, to schools and community groups, hosts Ask the Expert gatherings for parents, and provides home-based parent coaching services.


..".a valuable guidebook filled with humor and advice that all parents should read regardless of how old their kids are..." --Twin Cities Frugal Mom
..".book you'll keep in your night stand, or in the kitchen drawer, or in your purse (because we've all had those days, am I right?)." --BlogHer
..".gives parents the ammunition, information, and permission to meet these parenting challenges with open eyes and firm resolve." --Publishers Weekly
..".power-packed resource for parents and caregivers who need a little help (or want to prepare in advance for) parenting their teens well." --The Homemade Creative
.."Geltman's advice will arm you with knowledge and tools that you can use to better understand and parent your teen. I highly recommend it." --Mother Daughter Book Club
"Every time I hear a friend tells me that their kid is 'driving them crazy', I recommend this guide!" --Care's Online Book Club
"If you, or any you know, are the parent or relative of a teen, this book is for you." --Work & Family Life
"It's a great and informative read that you won't regret if you have or will soon have a teen in your home." --Mom on the Side
"It's like having my very own 'therapist' on my night table, to give me advice any time I need it." --Ms. Toody Goo Shoes
"One of the five best books for parenting teens...This book is awesome for parents having trouble opening those ever-clogged lines of communication with their teen." --Tampa Bay Parenting
"Parents of teens needing a supportive, insightful guide to help them through the pitfalls of their child's toughest years should take a look at A Survival Guide..." --The Sun Daily
"The book is easy to understand and written with an appropriate level of humor....If you have a teenager, or a child who will soon be there, it's definitely worth getting!" --Motherhood Moment
"The book is honest, open and frank and really allows any parent to understand the issues at hand." --Dad of Divas' Review
"This is truly a fantastic book for mothers with children at any age." --Power of Moms
"Whether it is drinking and drugs to motivating a 'quitter' teen, this book has it all... Pick up A Survival Guide To Parenting Teens today." --The Baby Spot

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