ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS FOREWORD - Hemas Kla-Lee-Lee-Kla INTRODUCTION What Pain Have You Suffered? Chapter 1 My Grandmother First Memories My Grandfather (xp'e7e) Grasshoppers Looking For Work Radios, Dances, Electricity And Running Water Uncle Leonard My Brother Ray Was Born in Prison Sardis Hospital = Loneliness Chapter 2 St. Joseph's Mission = Prison Families Separated Duties At The Mission The Food They Gave Us You Wouldn't Give Your Dog I'd Rather Kiss a Dog Than an Indian Chapter 3 I Get Religion But What Did It Mean? Sexual Abuse Mental Abuse - A Lifelong Sentence Forbidden Languages Chapter 4 Health Care? Uncle Ernie Teachers Gangs and Acceptable Touching Boot Camp Style Supervision Letters and Visitors Were Screened by the Authorities Chapter 5 Pain and Pleasure Some Good Memories The Puffed Wheat Bandits and Other Runaways Chapter 6 Home Sweet Home Christmas The Shame of Puberty The RCMP, Priests, Indian Nurses and Indian Agents The Training I Received to Be a Productive Part of Society Chapter 7 The Summer of '67 - Big Changes in My Life Going to School With Whites and The Cache Creek Motors Bus White People Can Be Stupid? Living With Dysfunction Family Chaos Leaving the Safety of Gram's House My Epiphany at Sixteen My Dark Years Grooming for Violence Chapter 8 My Attempted Suicide and Other Attempts Jacinda, Scott and Tony Mack, My Saviors Stepping Off the Rez Deaths From Car Accidents Finally - An Education The Turning Points: Ernie Phillip and a 25 Cent Book Chapter 9 Becoming a "Leader" Cariboo-Chilcotin Justice Inquiry Examining the Aftermath of the Residential Schools Anger Hemas Kla-Lee-Lee-Kla Chapter 10 Indians - An Industry With No Product Don't Ever Think I Don't Miss You, Bev Institutions and Aboriginal People A.I.M. and Other Political Teachings Going to University Final Thoughts ... for Now
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Bev Sellars: Bev Sellars is Chief of the the Xat'sull (Soda Creek) First Nation in Williams Lake, British Columbia. She holds a degree in history from the University of Victoria and a law degree from the University of British Columbia. She has served as an advisor to the BC Treaty Commission.