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Dear Mister Essay Writer Guy
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Table of Contents

introduction  1
A Question from Phillip Lopate & “Of Old Girlfriends”  4
A Question from Cheryl Strayed & “Dash It All”  14
A Question from Julianna Baggott & “The Napkin Is the Message”  22
A Question from Judith Kitchen & “A Striped Essay”  44
A Question from Barrie Jean Borich & “Mr. Plimpton’s Revenge”  56
A Question from Lia Purpura & “Understanding Your Cauliflower”  70
A Question from Sue William Silverman & “How Tasty
Was My Little Frenchman”  78
A Question from B.J. Hollars & “Have You Learned
Your Lesson, Amigo?”  86
A Question from Diane Ackerman & “Of Bums”  100
A Question from Dinah Lenney & “Pulling Teeth, or Twenty
Reasons Why My Daughter's Turning Twenty Can't Come
Soon Enough”  106
A Question from Philip Graham & “How to Choose
an Appropriate Essay Topic”  116


A Question from Michael Martone & “Four Essential Tips for
Telling the Truth in Memoir and Securing That Blockbuster
Book Deal”  120
A Question from Patrick Madden & “The Actual Message Mike the Tree Guy Left on My Answering Machine the Evening I Arrived Home to Find that the Tree He Was Cutting Down When I Left
for Work That Morning Still Stood Tall in My Side Yard”  136
A Question from Steve Almond & “An Essay on the Inherent
Dangers of Memoir Writing”  140
A Question from Ander Monson & “Nelson Algren’s Shorts”  144
A Question from Brenda Miller & “Why I Trained My Dog to Post”  154 
A Question from David Shields & “Beep! Beep!”  168
A Question from Roxane Gay & “Don’t Read This Essay”  174
A Question from Brian Doyle & “Clogged and Stupid and Weary”  182
A Question from Lee Gutkind  186
acknowledgments  191
about the author  193
index  195

About the Author

DINTY W. MOORE is a highly regarded essayist and author of numerous books, includingThe Mindful Writer, Crafting the Personal Essay, and the memoirBetween Panic and Desire, winner of the Grub Street Nonfiction Book Prize. He has been published inthePhiladelphia Inquirer Magazine, Gettysburg Review, Harper's, andCrazyhorse, among others. He also editsBrevity- The Journal of Concise Literary Nonfictionand has served as coordinating editor for the annual anthologyBest Creative Nonfiction. Moore currently teaches as director of Ohio University's BA, MA, and PhD in Creative Writing program.

Reviews

". ­. . a guide to writing essays that is both brilliantly instructive and wonderfully entertaining. ­. . . Highly recommended for writers and anyone who loves to laugh out loud while they read."
-- Library Journal (starred review)

"[Moore's] witty and disarming new book is framed as an advice column for accomplished writers. . . He is fun to read (don’t miss Mr Plimpton’s Revenge: A Google Maps Essay, in Which George Plimpton Delivers My Belated and Well-Deserved Comeuppance). And he sneaks in answers so we are left with a touch of wisdom as well as laughter."
-- BBC.com

"Dear Mister Essay Writer Guy is Moore at his best. It’s witty but also substantial, and the conversations between Moore and his interlocutors get to the heart of what makes the essay such a compelling form: its capacity to render, on the page, the human experience."
-- The Rumpus

". . . the book as a whole will leave you feeling educated, amused, and perhaps even inspired."
-- The A.V. Club

"Dear Mister Essay Writer Guy is an enjoyable read. . . Its witty, modest tone belies the artistry of the essays contained, which are exemplars of the short form." 
-- Shelf Awareness

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