CALEB KALTENBACH is lead pastor at Discovery Church, Simi Valley, CA. He also served on staff at Shepherd of the Hills Church, Porter Ranch, CA. Caleb brings genuine compassion and a compelling personal story to a divisive conversation. He speaks widely on faith, reconciliation, and sexual diversity to people on all sides of the LGBT issue. Caleb attended Talbot School of Theology (Biola University) and is currently finishing his DMin at Dallas Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Amy, have two young children.
“There is no shortage of books on how Christians can lovingly and
meaningfully engage their gay family members and friends. Caleb
Kaltenbach has an important message for everyone who shares a
commitment to both grace and truth.” —Jim Daly, president,
Focus on the Family
“Caleb Kaltenbach ‘came out’ to his parents. This is the story of
that coming out. Only this time, it’s was a Christian teen coming
out to his gay parents. The book combines undeniable experiences
with clear biblical arguments. Add the gracious tone throughout and
you have a powerful book.”
—Mark Dever, pastor, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC,
president of 9Marks.org
“Caleb Kaltenbach cuts through the confusion and talks about what
it really means to love people and what is really means to follow
God—and how they’re not mutually exclusive ideas. The answer the
world is looking for is messy and it’s full of grace.” —Reggie
Joiner, CEO and founder of Orange
“Caleb’s story is surprising and unique, and he weaves it together
compellingly. He states his views clearly, leaves room for
disagreement, and champions love no matter where you are in this
conversation.” —Jud Wilhite, senior pastor, Central Christian
Church
“Messy Grace, written by my friend Caleb Kaltenbach, is a personal
story of God’s incredible grace and a call to love people as God
loves. The message of this important book combines grace and truth
and offers hope to a broken generation. Messy Grace is
pure truth spoken in love and will help you relate to every person
in a way that pleases God.” —Jack Graham, pastor, Prestonwood
Baptist Church
“Caleb Kaltenbach ‘came out’ to his parents. This is the story of
that coming out. Only this time, it’s was a Christian teen coming
out to his gay parents. The book combines undeniable experiences
with clear biblical arguments. Add the gracious tone throughout and
you have a powerful book.” —Mark Dever, pastor, Capitol Hill
Baptist Church, Washington, DC, president of 9Marks.org
“Caleb’s story down categories, crushes stereotypes, and will make
you think differently than you thought before—regardless of your
convictions. Anyone who loves Jesus and loves friends and family
members who are LGBT is going to want to read this fascinating
book. Okay, scratch the conditions. I think anyone is
going to want to read this book.” —Carey Nieuwhof, author of
Leading Change without Losing It, blogger and lead pastor of
Connexus Church
“There may be no greater mess for the church than the question of
how to engage with the LGBT community. Messy Grace shows how grace
can enter into the mess of life and draw people to God’s love and
goodness of God.” —Darrell L. Bock, executive director for
cultural engagement and senior research professor of New Testament
at Dallas Theological Seminary
“I loved Messy Grace! These pages are filled with humility,
compassion, and powerful insights as Caleb’s story profoundly
demonstrates that grace is both messy and beautiful.” —Mike
Foster, People of the Second Chance
“This is an important conversation for the church today and no
one’s story makes them better suited for it than Caleb Kaltenbach.
In a world that tries to force everyone to take sides, Caleb speaks
from the inside of both worlds. Gay or straight, Christian or
non-Christian, everyone can learn from and be impacted
by Messy Grace.” —Lane Jones, director of North Point
Strategic Partners, North Point Ministries, and co-author of
Communicating for a Change
“Pastor Kaltenbach gives his readers much help on what to do and
what not to do among LGBT people. At the same time, he recognizes,
and emphasizes, that this is a ‘messy’ world, and that God calls us
to affirm Jesus in the midst of the messiness, rather than to
expect a precise answer to every question.” —Dr. John Frame,
J.D. Trimble professor of Systematic Theology & Philosophy,
Reformed Theological Seminary
“Some authors have inspirational stories to tell while others have
insightful points to make, what makes Caleb’s writing so powerful
is that God has given him both.” —Kyle Idleman, author of Not
a Fan and teaching pastor at Southeast Christian Church,
Louisville, KY
“No matter what your opinion is on the Bible and sexuality, this
book provides a very worthwhile and refreshing look into a very
amazing grace-filled story threaded with compassionate truth.”
—Dan Kimball, pastor, Vintage Faith Church and author of They Like
Jesus But Not the Church
“I appreciate how Caleb has personally walked in the midst of this
issue. He does a good job balancing compassion with those who are
self-proclaimed homosexuals and the church’s response.” —Chap
Clark, professor of Youth, Family & Culture at Fuller Theological
Seminary
“The church needs to get this issue right. Messy Grace is an
outstanding book that every Christian needs to read. Not only will
you enjoy Caleb’s casual and humorous writing style, you will be
challenged to live in grace and truth, just like Jesus.” —Sean
McDowell, PhD, professor at Biola University, popular speaker, and
the co-author of over fifteen books including Same-Sex Marriage
“Caleb Kaltenbach is not your usual pastor. And I thank God
for that. His story is approachable, authentic, and an important
contribution to the conversation of Christianity and sexuality.
—Gene Appel, senior pastor, Eastside Christian Church
“Messy Grace describes perfectly the ominous, yet delightful,
assignment of the church to paddle its boat between the Scylla of
grace and the Charybdis of truth. While I would not have said
everything exactly like Caleb Kaltenbach expressed it, I do affirm
that this book is one that any church taking seriously the command
to follow Christ must read and seriously contemplate.”
—Paige Patterson, president, Southwestern Baptist Theological
Seminary
“Messy Grace is a wonderful, well-written and highly readable
account of the author’s remarkable journey being raised in the gay
community and how he came to faith. Caleb Kaltenbach provides
insightful guidance to churches and families in dealing with LGBT
issues that goes beyond the worn-out platitudes that have
characterized this discussion for some time. ” —Scott B.
Rae, Ph.D., dean of faculty, professor of Christian Ethics, Talbot
School of Theology, Biola University
“An Evangelical minister and the son of a gay father and a gay
mother, Caleb is in a unique position to help us view the LGBT
community as valued souls needing salvation instead of unworthy
degenerates deserving condemnation. Many of us grew up in
traditional churches that were sometimes long on truth but short on
grace, especially concerning the LGBT community. Caleb’s book goes
a long way in helping develop a more biblical understanding of this
controversial issue.” —Bob Russell, retired senior minister,
Southeast Christian Church
"Through the eyes of someone who has seen the dark side of modern
day Pharisees in the church, Caleb shares a perspective on the way
words and actions alienate the very people who need to hear the
Gospel message of love, grace, repentance, and
forgiveness. Just ignoring this issue in churches will not
make it go away. —Dr. John Derry, president of Hope
International University
“We’re living in a culture where it is more important than ever to
understand how to balance grace and truth when it comes to same-sex
issues. We can be loving and hold on to truth at the same time.
This book will encourage you and challenge you to love others as
Jesus did.”
—Jim Garlow, senior pastor, Skyline Wesleyan Church
"Finally a book on a divisive issue that is handled with grace and
truth. Caleb has seen both sides of the issue firsthand and
his counsel is something the church today needs to hear. This is a
must read for pastors and church leaders.” —Don Wilson, senior
pastor, Christ’s Church of the Valley
“I found this book impossible to put down and read it one sitting.
The story is riveting and the gospel pulsates throughout the book.
Kaltenbach charts out for us what it looks like to be people of
grace and truth, to be people of mercy with a mission.” —Dr.
Thomas R. Schreiner, James Buchanan Harrison professor of New
Testament Interpretation, associate dean at The Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary
“Caleb Kaltenbach has seen both sides of this controversial
and complex topic…from his parents and from his pulpit. While it’s
tough for everyone to agree on such delicate issues, Caleb takes us
back to Scripture. ” —Pastor Dave Stone, Southeast
Christian Church, Louisville, KY
“I have known Caleb for many years and know of no one more
imminently qualified to address the single most controversial
subject of our day and to do so with love and grace. Sharing his
challenges as a son of gay parents and his convictions as a servant
of Christ will keep you engaged to the very last page. What at
first may appear to be an inconceivable fictional tale turns out to
be absolutely true and impossible to ignore.” —Barry Cameron,
senior pastor, Crossroads Christian Church
“Whether you are straight or part of the LGBT community, a
Christian or not a follower of Jesus, it will benefit you to read
this book. Prepare to be challenged. Prepare to repent. Prepare to
be changed. It will transform the way you look at and treat others.
I couldn’t put it down.”
—Daniel Akin, president of Southeastern Baptist Theological
Seminary
“A story that will move you. A spirit that will inspire you. A
pastor’s wisdom that will teach you. Questions that will challenge
you. Kaltenbach’s exhortation to both treat gay people lovingly,
and hold true to one’s convictions, is both winsome and
challenging. His wisdom flows from life, being raised by two gay
parents, coming to Christ, and sharing Christ’s love with his
parents and loved ones. I read with rapt attention, wanting to see
his story unfold, and to benefit from the insight his experiences
yield for the church. Grace is messy, and that’s OK. It’s possible
to live in grace and truth. Christ’s love is higher, purer, and
truer than the positions we take, or the sides we join. A rich,
readable, provocative, and persuasive read.” —Jenell Paris,
Ph.D., professor of anthropology, Messiah College and author of The
End of Sexual Identity
“Everyone has a story, but I don’t know anyone with a story quite
like my friend Caleb’s. Growing up with gay parents, Caleb’s
life was completely rewritten when he met Jesus. Here he
shares his story with a leader’s wisdom, a preacher’s convictions
and a pastor’s tender heart. When I talk with families (and
churches) wrestling with how to love someone who is gay, I will put
this book in their hands.” —Matt Proctor, president at Ozark
Christian College
“Caleb has communicated how Jesus answered the issues of messiness
and my prayer is many will be helped and prepared to help those who
face the challenges in our world in the future.”
—Douglas Crozier, CEO of The Solomon Foundation
“Real, relevant, and relational—Messy Grace steps right into the
existing chasm between the Christian community and the gay
community and provides the sound biblical direction about how the
gospel is the grounds for how we can mend and connect in a
Christ-honoring way.”
—Bryan Carter, senior pastor, Concord Church, Dallas, TX
“Caleb Kaltenbach has the most unique perspective on the LGBT
issue humanly possible. Because of his parents’ orientation, he was
bred to hate Christians. Then he became one. Now he leads
them. Caleb fluently speaks both the language and the emotion of
both sides of the issue. And he desperately wants to help us
stop picking sides and learn to love like Jesus. He is a great
leader, writer, and friend—as well as a walking example of how love
Messy Grace works.”
—Dr. Tim Harlow, senior pastor, Parkview Christian Church
“With uncompromising conviction, Kaltenbach teaches each one of us
to hear the heart of God and to be the face of Christ in a broken
world. The call for mercy, love, grace and compassion are written
on every page and are both highly courageous and poignantly
raw.” —Michelle Anthony, author of Spiritual Parenting and
Building a Spiritually Healthy Family
“Pastor Caleb Kaltenbach’s story is one of pain and alienation,
pride and determination, brokenness and eventually the healing love
of Jesus Christ. This powerful book is a must read for both
Christians and non-Christians alike, sure to illuminate those dark
moments that we are all guaranteed to encounter as well as the
glorious plan of redemption that can only be weaved by the Master
Himself.” —Frank Sontag, host of The Frank Sontag Show on 99.5
KKLA
"The narrative in Messy Grace is strong and compelling. It’s an
easy read, and the writing is clear, funny, and profound. Readers
will learn how to stand in the tension of truth and grace as they
identify with Caleb through all the messiness, tears, victory, and
sin."
-The Gospel Coalition
“A fascinating story about how this young man, born to two gay
parents and raised by his mother and her partner, ultimately came
to faith in Christ and is today a pastor of a growing church. In
the process of reading Caleb’s story, he also offers readers
valuable insights about how to engage gay people with the gospel in
a faithful yet winsome manner that shows the love of Christ rather
than anger and rejection. This is an important issue in today’s
culture, and church leaders need to understand the realities
discussed so effectively in this book.” Preaching Magazine
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