Table of Contents

I. From Groton to the Grotto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1
II. So, Are These Smoky Blowjobs Dangerous? . . . . . . . . . . . .7
III. Hide Your Wallet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
IV. Just Be Careful You Don't Get Too Close to Your Work . .35
V. I Guess I Won't Be Running for Public Office after This .47
VI. What Happens on the Road, Stays on the Road . . . . . . . .63
VII. Stacˆí, Stacˆí . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .93
VIII. I Know What You Did in Europe! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .117
IX. How Can We Be This Lucky? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127
X. I Wanna Be Your Target . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .141
XI. You're Not in the Porn Business! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .157
XII. I've Seen Things You People Wouldn't Believe . . . . . . . .175
XIII. My Mother Always Warned Me about Gangbangs . . . . .189
XIV. What the Fuck, Ross? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .199
XV. Your Debutante Just Knows What
You Need, but I Know What You Want . . . . . . . . . . . . . .215
XVI. Use Your Mouth, Use Your Chin,
Use Your Nose, Use Everything You Can . . . . . . . . . . . .239
XVII. Darling, It's All about Adding A Zero . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .251
XVIII. You Taste Like Scotch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .265
XIX. When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro . . . . .279
XX. We Have This Schism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .289
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .295
About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .296

About the Author

Ross Dale has been writing and producing television since 1998. He has worked for The E! True Hollywood Story, making documentary profiles of a wide variety of cultural icons, including Rod Serling, Marlon Brando, and Alfred Hitchcock. He's written and produced over a hundred stories for Playboy TV's Sexcetera, and was the co-creator Playboy TV's Naked Happy Girls. He currently lives in Los Angeles.