Table of Contents

Introduction, by Kate Macdonald

The Trials of Topsy

1 A Brush with the Highbrows

2 The Simple Life

3 Nature

4 Don Juan

5 Good Works

6 Hymen

7 Literature

8 Reducing

9 Going to the Dogs

10 Ideals

11 The Origin of Nieces

12 The Superfluous Baronet

13 The Noble Animal

14 The Fresh Mind

15 A Run with the Yaffle

16 Case for the Defence

17 Good Women and True

18 Charity

19 A Real Christmas

20 The Ephemeral Triangle

21 Engaged

22 The Untrained Nurse

23 Politics

24 Scandal at Burbleton

25 End of Act One

Topsy, MP

1 Becomes a Member

2 Goes Shooting

3 Flies Half the Atlantic

4 At the Prunery

5 Makes a Film

6 Goes Hunting

7 Passes Poxton

8 Is All for Al

9 Takes her Seat

10 Hauls Down the Gold Standard

11 Has Words with the Whips

12 Knows Too Much

13 Wins Bread

14 Behaves Badly

15 Plays Golf with Nancy

16 Solves Everything

17 Converts a Whip

18 Is Unlucky

19 Converts the Councillor

20 Starts a Salon

21 Trouble in the Home

22 Asks Questions

23 Loses the Whip

24 Trouble in the House

25 Does Needlework

26 Becomes a Mother

Topsy Turvy

1 Peace!

2 Consolations

3 The Suffrage Episode

4 The Moon Party

5 Frustration

6 Iodine Dale

7 Saving at the Races

8 The Danes

9 Force 5

10 The New House

11 The Prime Meridian

12 Good Resolutions

13 Heroic Act

14 Timothy Brine

15 The Dogs

16 Jack and Jill

17 Keeping Fit

18 The Canaanites

19 Stiff Lips

20 Movements

21 Ulcerous World

22 Haddock in Trouble

23 The Speech Sweep

24 The Dogs Again

25 Radiant Day

About the Author

A P Herbert (1890-1971) was one of Britain’s greatest comic writers, who specialised in writing for Punch, where the Topsy letters first appeared. He had a long career as a Member of Parliament and lawyer, during which he was a savage critic of obsolete British laws.